Dear Hope and Household Folks:
This morning my mind is a medley of thoughts. Tonight we are to present our home talent P.T.A. play. It has been my privilege to direct it, and I am proud of our home folks. Our dress rehearsal last night was perfect. It is wonderful what talent there is in every community if only we take the pains to search it out and develop it. We are giving the same play that "Molly Manning" and her church society put on earlier in the year, and we want to thank "Molly" for her part in helping us with our play by sending us suggestions.
Yesterday afternoon the county home and community chairmen of the state extension work met for their monthly round table. We discuss all our problems with each other, our home demonstration agent and a worker from the state university. Yesterday we had a 4-H club leader with us and our discussion centered around the boys' and girls' club work for this summer. Our home demonstration agent pointed out the need of more and better home economics project and less of calf and pig clubs for our girls. The state representative said we should not neglect the calf and pig clubs too much as farm girls needed to be trained to be helpful farm wives in the future. We had a long debate over this question. It was about 50-50, as the saying goes. How I wished Hope and "Ruth Vernon" were with us, for I knew each one had a decided opinion and would express herself sincerely. We need to discuss this problem more now than ever, when agriculture is in the "limelight" and conditions are changing so rapidly.
About half of the women there yesterday said they would soon have to help with the chores, especially when the men start working in the field, besides, their own work would be heavier, with garden and chickens, house cleaning and what not. The question is -- should the women be expected to help with the chores just because the men have to get the crop in? Of course, it is imperative that the crops get into the ground at the proper time, especially if the season is already late or rains hinder the progress of the work.
Considers Her Dignity
Our county chairman of the women's work said she would not go to the barn for any man, no matter what happened. She contended that her place was in the house, even though there would be losses outside if she did not help out occasionally. She did not even believe in giving assistance if any of the stock was sick and no other man could be had to help. She would rather see the animal die than lower her dignity to go out and help. Just then I wished Mrs. Simmons were with us. I am sure she could have given us a splendid talk. Then our former township chairman spoke up. She said: "I have run the farm of 80 acres myself while my husband was sick and we could not afford a man. I learned to love the stock and became so interested I took up dairying and now have a fine herd of dairy cows. It was through my help we were able to send out seven children through high school and university, and now see them in good farm homes of their own. I do not feel that I am less a lady than I was before I did this, and I admire any woman who will help her husband when necessary." She also said that her husband loved and respected her as much as ever and was always willing she should have any modern convenience in the home that owuld lighten her work.
Just to cite a few of my own experiences: A few years ago we lost a very good dairy cow because I did not take time to go out when I heard unusual noises in the near-by pasture. I can never forgive myself for this neglect. Not because of the loss in dollars as much as the terrible suffering I could have spared this poor dumb creature, for hours upon hours. Just this very morning I heard a noise in the barn. The men were not yet up (it is my custom to rise when I awaken, even if the hour is early). So I went out and discovered a cow had broken through the barn floor and was standing with her hind legs down through the floor. I at once called the men and they went to help her out. Brother said he had noticed the bad place in the floor a few days ago, but just did not take time to fix it then. Now, that cow could have broken her legs by trying to get out alone. And so it is with many other things. I believe a woman should take interest enough to at least notice if anything seems unusual, even though she cannot go out to help with the work.
A few more words to answer the questions of so many. Thanks so much. Father is in his usual good health, not even having had a cold this winter. To several who asked about my son: He is at St. Stanislaus seminary at Florissant, Mo., just out of St. Louis. He is preparing for the mission field, be it in this country or foreign lands, wherever he is needed. Yes, he is the only child I have. No, he does not come home for vacation. It would break too much into the routine of the work and studies. It requires a period of from 12 to 15 years before the men are finished. They study and teach by turns. My boy, although only 21 years old, has been sent to a negro mission for practice work and ha also preached several sermons. Now he is back in the seminary digging out Latin and Greek and other languages. Best wishes to all. Sincerely -- Pep.
Two Things Enter In
We have a daughter who has been in home economics projects for two years and who is taking up a poultry project in addition this year. She summed the matter up pretty neatly, I thought, when she explained why she took both. "I love the sewing and wouldn't give it up, but I'd like to work part of the time with something alive and something outdoors. And, besides, the sewing project doesn't bring in any money!"
As to the outside work by farm women, it seems to me the most satisfying philosophy is to meet the situations that arise, never being hampered by an ironclad rule of conduct, "I will do this," or "I will never do that." In many cases the housewife would have neither time nor talent to contribute to the outside nor would there be need for her to undertake it. Whether or not she should habitually help with the farming depends altogether on the circumstances and the ambitions of the couple concerned. It is a pity for any woman habitually to work beyond her strength or to neglect the house and children to save a man's wages; but since most of us do more than tend a house and children nowadays, if we are real partners and want our husbands to succeed, we have the privilege of a choice in selecting the ways in which we shall help. It is no more demeaning to do farm work than to tend garden or raise chickens, or bake or sew or write books, and many women really enjoy it more. Some couples work side by side in everything they do; both help outdoors, both help about the house, and each enjoys both phases. In other households the lines of work run parallel and are mutually sympathetic, but they seldom need to cross.
Willing But Awkward
My husband and I, for instance, would be entirely willing to help one another out if occasion should arise. Willing, but awkward. For myself, I know enough about the theory of farming to be interested in every operation and to keep in touch with all the plans; but for me actually to harness a horse would require literally a feat of imagination. It is not that I have refused to do such work, but that the days have been full and that particular thing I have never needed to know. My husband, on the other hand, lends a sympathetic ear to the theory of housekeeping, but would far rather pay what wages it takes to hire a helper for me than to be obliged to handle the practical details himself.
If the time should come when he had to prepare a poached egg for me, for example, it would seem to me a more touching tribute of devotion than a box of American Beauty roses, for it would represent the humble and courageous effort to accomplish a difficult feat, for my sake. And so I say that it all depends on the persons concerned. It is no more nor less of an aspersion to say of a woman, "She never helps outside," than to say, "She always helps outside." There is no glory in doing such work when it is not needed; and there is certainly no glory in refusing to do it when it is needed. --Hope.